Archive for the ‘Michael Coyner’ Category

“The Greatest Love” – February 14, 2012

Mike Coyner and family

Mike & Marcia Coyner and their grandchildren

As I write these words it is Valentine’s Day, and it is also the days after we all heard the shocking news of the death of Whitney Houston. The juxtaposition of those two events is really hard to overlook. Whitney Houston sang a beautiful song about “The Greatest Love” as our ability to learn to love ourselves. Valentine’s Day is a beautiful holiday about loving those who love us. Both events miss the point of the teachings of Jesus.

Jesus taught (in his Sermon on the Mount) that if we simply love those who loves us, there is no big credit in that. Everyone loves those who love them, even the most evil and devious persons somehow learn to love those who love them. Jesus said that his followers must exceed that limited understanding of love. He taught us to love God first, and to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.

Whitney’s sad life is a witness to how hard it is to love ourselves. Her beautiful voice and life devolved into a familiar pattern of self-destruction which has plagued so many other celebrities. It is almost haunting to hear the recordings of her singing about “The Greatest Love.”

How do we achieve that kind of appropriate self-love? I believe Jesus shows us the way. Learning to love ourselves appropriately comes only as we first discover the depth of God’s love for us. Once we know we are loved, that we are lovable, then we can be so filled with God’s love that we are able to love ourselves, our neighbors, and God.

So, it is good to tell those who love us that we also love them. Too many people go through life without ever hearing from their loved ones that they are loved.

But let us not stop there. Let us learn to receive the wonderful and complete love of God who enables us to love ourselves appropriately and to love one another generously.

The love of God is truly the greatest love of all.

The View from Here

Friday, January 20th, 2012 | By Mike Coyner
Filed in: Michael Coyner, The View from Here

0comments

“First Steps”

Two of my four grandchildren are toddlers.  Austin is 17 months old, and Leah just had her 1st birthday.  Austin is walking  already, and Leah is taking her first steps around furniture and walking as we hold her hands.

It is fun to watch these two little ones learn to walk.  Both are courageous but careful.  The really want to walk, but they have fallen enough to know that walking is not easy, so they hang on and hold on and move carefully as they learn to walk.  I admire their persistence, and I resist the temptation to help them too much – walking is something they really have to learn on their own, even as we stand watch over them to protect them if they start to fall.

Mike Coyner

Bishop Michael Coyner

I wonder if that is how our faith journeys appear to God.  Surely God has to allow us to try and fail, to slip and fall sometimes, and yet God is always hovering over us with eternal love and grace.  From our perspective, it sometimes feels like God has abandoned us; meanwhile God is there all along, simply giving us the freedom we need to learn faith on our own.

It is a joy to see my little grandchildren take their first steps.  It must be a joy for God to see any of us step out in faith, learn to trust God, and yet risk to serve and obey God in new ways.

So, keep walking in faith, keep trying, keep risking, and keep trusting.  God is there with you, every step of the way.

God bless you.

 

“Blue Christmas”

Blue Christmas

Blue Christmas

While I was serving as bishop in the Dakotas Conference, I found many small towns where the local funeral home teamed up with the local United Methodist Church (or sometimes with several churches) to offer a “Blue Christmas” service on December 20th  which is the longest night of the year.  They often called this a “Blue Christmas” and even played the Elvis Presley song (“It will be a blue Christmas without you”), and the gathering was for families who had lost a loved one in the past year.  The idea was simple but very caring:  those in grief need a time to name that grief (and the longest, darkest night the year seemed appropriate) in order to them to heal and be ready to celebrate Christmas.

Having lost several loved ones in the past three years, I know how hard it is to have that first Christmas without a loved one.  So those “Blue Christmas” services were a wonderful way to help persons in grief to deal with their grief – and then to start moving on with life.

If you are someone who has lost a loved one this past year, please know that God’s healing love is for you.  Christ came especially for those who are poor, poor in spirit, heart-broken, and in need of healing.

If you know someone who has lost a love one this past year, maybe now is the time to call them or drop by and see them, to say, “I remember your loved  one, too, and I know that this Christmas may be tough for you.  But you are not alone – you are in my thoughts and prayers.”

If your local church has never considered offering a “Blue Christmas” or a “Longest Night Service” for persons in grief, maybe it is not too late to offer it this year.

And most of all, every one of us can pause and give thanks for the loved ones in our lives – those who have passed on, and those who are still with us – and to ask God’s blessings on our loved ones.

Mike Coyner

Bishop Michael Coyner

Christmas is not all fun and games.  Sometimes it is a sad time for those who are grieving.  Sometimes it is a lonely time for those who are left behind.  And always it is a time to offer love and peace to our loved ones.

Have a blessed Christmas – even if it is a Blue Christmas for you this year.

from Bishop Michael J. Coyner

Mike Coyner

Bishop Michael Coyner

“Changing Time Zones” – November 15, 2011

I am currently on a trip following the journeys of the Apostle Paul.  It has involved many changes of time zones.  The Sunday we left was the change from daylight savings in Indiana, so we dropped back one hour.  After flying all night, we landed in Rome which was 6 hours ahead.  Then after touring Rome we traveled to Crete which was another hour ahead.  The next few days we toured Athens, Corinth, Istanbul, and Ephesus.  Now we are on our way to Sicily which is an hour behind, then back to Rome to fly home which will be 6 hours behind Rome.  Lots of time zones, lots of changes, and it is hard to adjust and adapt.

Change is hard.  I just finished reading “Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard” by Chip and Dan Heath.  Their book is very helpful, and I wish I had read it before I tried to lead some changes earlier in my life and ministry.  One point in particular they make is that “self-control is ban exhaustible resource.”  We can’t make changes simply by our own willpower, we have to tap into other sources of power.

I agree.  As a Christian I need the power of God and the strength that comes from Christian community.  I can’t lead or make changes on my own – no matter how worthy or right those changes may be.

In the meantime I will keep changing my watch and adapting to changing times.  But for any real change, I need power beyond myself.

Mike Coyner

Bishop Michael Coyner

I have been spending some time with my 14 month old grandson Austin, and his mother (my daughter) describes perfectly what life is like for such a toddler.  She says, “Life is a science experiment for Austin.”  Indeed, he spends all of his waking hours “playing” – but his play is all about trying to stack his blocks, seeing which toys will fit into which spaces around the house, trying out various pots and pans in the kitchen to see which ones make the most noise when dropped on the floor, and practicing walking on his tiptoes across the various floor surfaces in the house and on the porch.  Life for Austin is a series of explorations, experiments, and efforts to learn, to see, to listen, and to grow.

There is something almost magical about watching a little one grow up, and I am thoroughly impressed (as any proud grandparent should be) with how quickly he learns.  He mimics our every action.  He wants to see what we do, and then he tries to learn from us.  He observes, experiments, and enjoys every new sensation and every new experience.  Even when he falls or cannot succeed on a first effort, he adapts, keeps trying, and usually succeeds.

When does this joyful attitude of experimentation, wonder, and growing start to fade?  When do we become “old” in our thinking and allow life to stop being a science experiment?  When do we lose our sense of wonder and awe about this world and this life?  I don’t know, but it seems really sad to think that any human being would stop experimenting and experiencing life.

Maybe that is what Jesus meant when he said that to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven we must become like children.  Maybe that teaching is not about innocence (we can’t recover that); maybe it is about wonder.  Maybe it is about life as a “spirit experiment.”

Sometimes when I hear people complain about change, about new ideas, and “those young people” who want to do things differently, then I realize that those complainers are not just opposed to change – they have lost their sense of wonder, their child-like willingness to experiment and learn.  That child-like attitude is not a function of age.  Fortunately sometimes it is our most elderly people who are open to new things in life.  I remember that in one of the first churches I served as a pastor, it was our elderly members who were excited about our creating a new worship service to reach young people.  One of our older members said, “I remember when this church added an English-speaking worship service (rather than their previous German service) to reach young people like me.  Now it is our chance to offer a new worship service to include the young people of today.”  When I heard her words, I realized I was in the presence of someone who was “old” by the calendar but “young” in terms of spirit.

As I get older (and I am a grandfather now), I hope that I don’t lose my own sense of wonder and awe. I hope that I will always regard life as a science (and spirit) experiment.

Mike Coyner

Bishop Michael Coyner

One of the household improvements we made this summer was adding a new sliding door from our kitchen area into our sunroom. That room is a kind of “Florida room” with windows that open for circulation, and it is a pleasant room that we use about 9 months of the year. I like to sit out there to read and write, and we often have meals out there in the summer.

However, the door from our kitchen area into the sunroom had always been too small, too narrow, and a real blockage for “traffic” – especially when we had guests who were not used to squeezing around our kitchen table to get through that door. So this summer we bought a new, large sliding door, and had it installed by professionals (I gave up years ago on any idea that I am a “handy man” for such projects). What a difference! We can easily now move back and forth from our kitchen to the sun room, and it seems we now actually use it even more. It is amazing what a difference it makes to have a larger, more open door.

As I enjoy that new doorway, I wonder how many of our congregations have adequate “doorways” into their ministries. Many congregations assume that new people might want to join one of their existing groups or programs, when in fact it is human nature that such groups and programs become “closed” after they are together for a while. That does not mean they are bad people, it is just human nature that a group develops its own sense of identify and history, and after a while a new person senses that they cannot easily break into that group. What is the answer? Churches need to offer new groups, new opportunities, and new doorways into their ministry.

All of that effort requires a mindset that wants their church to be open to welcome new people. Unfortunately not all congregations and not all Christians have that mindset. I remember as a District Superintendent asking each congregation in their annual meeting (Charge Conference) to share with me their plan to reach out to people in their community. In one of those meetings, no one seemed to have any idea why they should do that, and one of their church leaders actually said to me, “Well, we unlock our doors on Sunday. If they want to come join us, I guess they can do that.” Not much of any open doorway there!

How about our personal lives? Do we have the doorways of our “hearts” and our spirits open to God and to other people? It is easy to become “closed” and to think we have all the answers we need. It is easy to become “closed” and to think we really can’t stretch our compassion any further.

All of us – individuals, churches, communities – may need to have a new doorway to be open to the new movement of God’s Spirit in our lives.

Mike Coyner

Bishop Michael Coyner

Yesterday the odometer on my car rolled over to 200,000 miles. Well, actually it is a digital display so it did not literally “roll over” – but you get the point. It reminded me of a previous car I owned with the older odometers which literally rolled over, and at 100,000 miles it went back to showing 0. Knowing that I was near that 100,000 mark, I took my family for a ride in the car to “show them our new car.” They seemed confused because we had not been talking about getting a new car, and they were underwhelmed when the odometer rolled over to 0 and I declared, “Look we now have a new car!”

I share these stories because I want to make the point that our faith journey is a marathon, not a sprint. Faith is a life-long, one-step-at-a-time experience. Too many people start strong but fail to finish their faith journey. Others start slowly and build their faith over a lifetime. What makes the difference? Partly it is a matter of perspective. When we make too much out of any one experience – good or bad – we tend to extrapolate and think that experience is more important than it really is.

For example, when we fail or have missteps in our faith, we can tend to make into too big a deal, forgetting that God’s grace can overwhelm all of our sins and failures. Or, when we have a success in our faith, we can also tend to make that into too big a deal and start thinking too highly of ourselves.

We need the perspective of the long journey. We need to try to look at our lives from God’s perspective and to see that our ups and downs are not really that crucial.

That’s where the Bible comes in. As we read the long history of God and God’s people, we see the slow movement of God at work in human history. We see the many ups and downs, curves and detours along the way. We see how God worked through the lives of people just like us – people who sometimes failed, sometimes followed in faith, but always tried to walk in faith. We see God’s infinite patience. And we remember that faith is not a sprint, but a marathon.

We may not reach 200,000 miles, but hopefully we will be able to say with the Apostle Paul, “I have run the race, I have finished my course in faith” (II Timothy 4:7).

Mike Coyner

Bishop Michael Coyner

I love the story in the second chapter of the Gospel of Mark where the four friends carry their paralyzed friend to Jesus for healing.  There is such a crowd around Jesus that these friends must carry their friend up onto the rooftop (most houses in Bible times had an outdoor stairway), push aside the palm branches over the opening in the roof which allow air movement, and lower their friend to Jesus.

It says then, “When Jesus saw their faith” he then forgave and healed the man.  Jesus saw their faith, the faith of the friends, and that inspired him to forgive and to heal.

Have you ever been carried in faith by your friends?  Have you had times in your life when you were not sure what or how to pray, but friends prayed for you?  Have you ever been discouraged, and friends lifted you up?  Have you ever been without hope, but friends gave you hope?  Have you ever stayed away from God and the church and faith, but friends brought you to a new opportunity to be with God?

Have you ever been carried in faith by your friends?

Or, have you ever been a friend who carried someone else in faith?  Have you ever thought about a friend, had their name come to you in prayer or in quiet moments, and then you acted on that impulse and reached out to them?  Have you ever gathered up support to help a friend through a tough time?  Have you ever prayed for a friend, even when you weren’t sure your friend was much of a believer?

Have you ever carried a friend in faith?

This story in Mark 2 teaches us, teaches me, that we are called to carry one another in faith.

Maybe that is the best reason for “church” and for “congregations.”  Maybe we all need a circle of caring friends who will carry each other in faith.  Sometimes I am the one who needs to be carried in faith, and sometimes I am one of those who carries another.  Maybe church at its best is the place where we carry one another in faith.

This faith journey is not meant to be a solo trip.  We need one another. We need faith friends.  We need a congregation of those who will carry each other.  We need to know that we are not alone.  God is with us through the living Spirit of Jesus Christ, but so are our friends.  And I am called to be such a faith friend to others.

If you have never needed to be carried in faith by others, then God bless you for your strength and good fortune. But your day will come when you need others to give you a strength beyond yourself.  If you have never carried someone else in faith, then shame on you – look around for a friend in need and offer your support and your prayers.

This Christian thing is not a solo thing. We are meant to carry each other in faith.

 

Mike Coyner

Bishop Michael Coyner

 

We have just witnessed the NBA finals, and I am not writing this to bash LeBron James.  Enough of that.  He is a 26 year old kid who chose to leave his old team and move to Miami to play with a couple of good friends.  He even gave up money to do that, and so I don’t blame him for that move.  His style of moving (with the hour-long announcement of his move, the rally in Miami, and all the hype) was not very mature, and some of his comments to the media have been unwise.  But let’s stop clobbering LeBron.

However, there is a lesson from the Dallas Mavericks about teamwork and perseverance.  Some of the Dallas Mavericks are “old” for the NBA, even though it pains me to call anyone in their 30’s old.  They have been around a while, and they have been through a lot of losses and close-but-not-quite efforts.  They should get a lot of credit for sticking with it, staying together, and persevering.

To me, the big lesson about the Dallas Mavericks is about teamwork.  They pass the ball well to one another, they play a teamwork style of zone defense, and they seem to allow one another to take the leadership in any given game.  Now, don’t bash the Miami Heat on this one, because they also play pretty good teamwork, but the Dallas Mavericks demonstrate a longer-term style of teamwork.

Now, here is my real point:  ministry is all about teamwork.  Ministry is not just an individual thing, it is about teamwork.  Jesus set that standard by calling a “team” of disciples to work with him.  His first four choices of disciples were two sets of brothers who at least worked with one another, and perhaps they were already a team of four persons fishing together.  Either way, it is clear that Jesus started his group/team of disciples with sets of brothers who already knew how to work together.

Teamwork is the core of discipleship.  We North American Christians have so much bought into the cultural value of individualism, that we sometimes miss this lesson.  Too many books, articles, blogs, devotional guides, and sermons focus upon the individual’s choice, faithfulness, and service as a disciple of Jesus.  That is fine, but it misses the main lesson of Jesus’ choice of a group of twelve to be formed into a team over the three years he spent with them.

The early church continued this pattern by sending disciples/apostles to serve in pairs and teams of three.  We remember the Apostle Paul and know about his amazing ministry, for example, only because the Greek physician Luke traveled with him, helped him, and recorded their ministry.

Teamwork.  It is the secret to effective ministry.  Are you building your team, working with a team, and helping a team?  Don’t do ministry alone, do it with a team.

Mike Coyner

Bishop Michael Coyner

My first grandchild was born in August and so now he is nearly 9 months old. I am finding that being a grandparent is indeed fun and exciting, but it also prompts me to wonder what kind of world my grandson will have in his grown-up years. As I hold my grandson, I find myself asking questions like these:

+ What will the church be like when Austin is a teenager or young adult?
+ Will the United Methodist Church be a vital and alive place for him to find faith?
+ Will all of those expensive church buildings still be in use, or will vital congregations divest themselves of real estate in order to do more ministry?
+ Will the clergy of those churches in 20 years be persons who work full-time for the church, or will most of them need to be “tentmakers” who work another job and do ministry as a part-time work or as a volunteer?
+ Will Christians in 20 years be a minority, or even a persecuted minority in American society?

I wonder about those questions, but I wonder even more about Austin and how he will find faith.

All of the statistics say that fewer and fewer persons in each successive generation are finding faith. The “Veterans” generation of people like my elderly father were churched at a rate of nearly 70%. For “Baby Boomers” of my generation that percentage dropped to 50%.  For the “Next Generation” (I prefer that term to Generation X), it dropped to below 30%. And our early data on the “Millennials” is that only about 15-20% are finding faith.

Why? Maybe we in the church have been too busy playing church and not spending our time sharing the Good News. Maybe the numbers for the older generations were inflated with people who were just church members and not faithful Christians. Maybe we are fighting powerful forces in our culture which work against the Christian faith.

I don’t know all the answers. I only know that when I look at Austin and feel the love of a grandparent, I also yearn for him to find faith.  It is most likely that will happen if he is raised in a Christian home, if he has parents and grandparents who are role models of faith, and if he has involvement in a church which is vital, relative, and passionate about the faith.

Will Austin find faith? I pray that the answer is YES! and I will do all that I can to help that happen. I also pray for all of the other little children of our world, and I will do all that I can to help them find faith, too.

 

  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
  • >